A few months ago I received a grant from the U.S. Department of Education to develop a strategic model for school-based mentoring (SBM) that school districts can use to support students whose families serve in our country’s military (http://drtimcavell.com/serving-children-military-parents/). We plan to develop, refine, and evaluate a practical and sustainable SBM program for military-connected students [...]
The most adaptive parent-child relationships provide children with three conditions over time—an abiding message of being accepted emotionally, a sense that certain behaviors (e.g., hurting others) will not be tolerated, and values-based leadership from parents’ example and guidance. Many parents I work with have children who are behaving in defiant and disruptive ways. Parents want [...]
Most have heard Steve Miller’s song The Joker and his famous line “‘cause I speak of the pompatus of love” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmVusVh4TRQ). I can’t speak to that but I can tell you about the paradoxes of love. I do a fair amount of couples’ therapy and one of the challenges in doing that work is that [...]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-tim-cavell/whats-it-like-to-be-your-son-or-your-daughter_b_6410448.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-tim-cavell/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-tim-cavell/childs-play-what-to-give-_b_6376006.html
For most children, the magic of Christmas is waking to find new toys and games, each one offering the promise of sheer joy and hours of fun. Much is written each year about which toys are popular, which are age-appropriate, and which are educational. Far less is said about parents' role in child's play or how [...]
If asked, “What are your goals as a parent?”, I suspect most folks would speak to the outcomes they want for their children. There will likely be fair agreement on the big issues: to be safe, to be loved, to be healthy, and to be successful or content with their life choices. Most will [...]
Several years ago I sat on a plane next to a man who looked to be a bit older than me. In his lap was a thick manuscript. We greeted each other and I asked about the stack of papers he was holding. He said his son was an honors student at a big name [...]
Try this the next time your children come to you with a complaint or a problem that isn’t completely outside of their ability to solve: Listen without interrupting, take a moment to acknowledge their emotional state (“I can tell that you’re mad”), and then offer this question, “What are you going to do?” In my [...]
