Today’s post is from a series I call “The 10 Most Useful Facts about Emotions”. I posted an earlier version of this series when I launched DrTimCavell.com (September, 2014). I thought it wise to revisit these facts. I wrote this for a forthcoming book about the emotional hazards of parenting, but these 10 facts can [...]
This week I’ve noticed a number of interesting coincidences, most of which involve my friend and occasional mentor, Dr. Philip Trapp, who I affectionately call The Original Dr. Phil. Phil is my colleague and Professor Emeritus in the Department of Psychological Science at the University of Arkansas. Emeritus means retired with honor or distinction. Phil [...]
It’s the movie award season and one movie that got some buzz was St. Vincent. Bill Murray plays Vincent, the acerbic neighbor who lives next door to Oliver and his mother. Oliver’s mom works late so Vincent is asked to “babysit” Oliver when he gets home from school. Vincent obliges (for $12/hour) and eventually introduces [...]
A few months ago I received a grant from the U.S. Department of Education to develop a strategic model for school-based mentoring (SBM) that school districts can use to support students whose families serve in our country’s military (http://drtimcavell.com/serving-children-military-parents/). We plan to develop, refine, and evaluate a practical and sustainable SBM program for military-connected students [...]
The most adaptive parent-child relationships provide children with three conditions over time—an abiding message of being accepted emotionally, a sense that certain behaviors (e.g., hurting others) will not be tolerated, and values-based leadership from parents’ example and guidance. Many parents I work with have children who are behaving in defiant and disruptive ways. Parents want [...]
Most have heard Steve Miller’s song The Joker and his famous line “‘cause I speak of the pompatus of love” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmVusVh4TRQ). I can’t speak to that but I can tell you about the paradoxes of love. I do a fair amount of couples’ therapy and one of the challenges in doing that work is that [...]
Parents’ role as family leader emerges naturally from their success at adopting a posture of acceptance combined with a narrow but effectively disciplinary focus. Accepting and containing are two basic and very different options when deciding how to respond to your children’s behavior. But are accepting and containing your only options in every situation? Acceptance [...]
http://chronicle.umbmentoring.org/mentoring-youth-of-incarcerated-parents-my-experience-volunteering-at-big-brothers-big-sisters/
This week, I’ve been thinking about A, the first boy I mentored through Big Brothers Big Sisters. It was his birthday this week and I try to send him birthday wishes each year, even though I’m no longer his Big Brother. We met in October just before Halloween. He had an impish predisposition, an endearing [...]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-tim-cavell/whats-it-like-to-be-your-son-or-your-daughter_b_6410448.html
